Dear Ms. Garofalo:
My human tells me that it is common for women to be compared to the female of my species. This is often done by using the "B" word when describing their attitude. The last few days I've heard several people refer to you as this very thing. I didn't understand why, until Candi explained that it was describing your very unhappy attitude and your vulgar language. So I'm telling you now...SHUT UP; SHAVE YOUR PITS AND LEGS; WASH YOUR NASTY GREASY HAIR; PUT YOUR BRA BACK ON; AND COVER UP ALL THOSE EXTREMELY UGLY TATTOOS! You're insane accusations and uninformed viewpoints are giving my species a bad name and I don't appreciate it!
Sincerely,
Shasta
P.S.
This is your one and only warning. After this, if you continue your idiotic rants I will be forced to come drop a huge Obama in every pair of shoes you own!
Conversations Between A Dog And Her Human
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Where Are The Christians?
Today my human was chatting with a couple of members of a group on Facebook and a link to an article was posted. The article was about conservatives seeking another Ronald Reagan-esque candidate and being sorely disappointed. It also mentioned it being too much to ask of God to send us another Reagan. This naturally led to a discussion about the role of Christians in politics. As Candi, read the comments to me, I thought that her and her friends made sense, BUT I also wanted a little clarification to a few comments. So, I asked my human and her friends to explain to me exactly what they were saying about their view on Christians and their involvement in politics.
I decided to start with Ana Claire, who is in the ministry. "Ana, why do you feel Christians are lazy and as a result, responsible for the moral decay in America?"
"Well Shasta, week in and week out I see our members listening to the minister and applauding his sermon. During the week I see them sitting idly by while waiting for that same minister to "do it all". Agreeing with a message and acting on a message are two entirely different things. I feel that Christians, as a rule, have gotten too lazy to do more than show up for service, applaud when they agree and then go home to never give it another thought. How can we expect the morals in our country to NOT be in decline when we aren't willing to stand up and say something when we see something wrong?"
I have to say, Ana Claire has a point. Candi has often said that people in her dad's churches are always talking about what they should do, but never actually do anything. They talk about how bad it is, but they don't stand up for what is right.
When I asked Michael about his comment that, "Many Christians have nothing better to do than judge petty external issues and they wonder why the church is irreverent to modern American society. " He explained it like this:
"Shasta, as a Marine and police officer, I have had experience with the dregs of society, as well as Christians. Very often I hear them condemning the behavior of criminals and others, but seldom do they do anything beyond that. I think that Christians need to get off their high horses, and lead by example rather than sitting idly by."
Wow...good point, Michael. I've heard Candi say, "If I had a dime for every time I'm judged or have been judged by someone in church, I could pay off the national debt AND restore the social security trust-fund."
Now my human's sister is a minister and Candi has great respect for her. She posted the following on the church's Facebook page:
I decided to start with Ana Claire, who is in the ministry. "Ana, why do you feel Christians are lazy and as a result, responsible for the moral decay in America?"
"Well Shasta, week in and week out I see our members listening to the minister and applauding his sermon. During the week I see them sitting idly by while waiting for that same minister to "do it all". Agreeing with a message and acting on a message are two entirely different things. I feel that Christians, as a rule, have gotten too lazy to do more than show up for service, applaud when they agree and then go home to never give it another thought. How can we expect the morals in our country to NOT be in decline when we aren't willing to stand up and say something when we see something wrong?"
I have to say, Ana Claire has a point. Candi has often said that people in her dad's churches are always talking about what they should do, but never actually do anything. They talk about how bad it is, but they don't stand up for what is right.
When I asked Michael about his comment that, "Many Christians have nothing better to do than judge petty external issues and they wonder why the church is irreverent to modern American society. " He explained it like this:
"Shasta, as a Marine and police officer, I have had experience with the dregs of society, as well as Christians. Very often I hear them condemning the behavior of criminals and others, but seldom do they do anything beyond that. I think that Christians need to get off their high horses, and lead by example rather than sitting idly by."
Wow...good point, Michael. I've heard Candi say, "If I had a dime for every time I'm judged or have been judged by someone in church, I could pay off the national debt AND restore the social security trust-fund."
Now my human's sister is a minister and Candi has great respect for her. She posted the following on the church's Facebook page:
Sometimes a caravan of travelers will be in the dusty, hot, dry desert, and about to perish for need of water. When this happens they will let one of the camels go. The instincts in the camel will lead him to refreshing waters. When the animal moves nearly out of sight one of the men will mount his camel and follow. When he is about to be out of sight another will do the same. When the camel ...discovers the water the man following on the camel will turn and wave to the second; the second to the third, and so on, until everyone has gathered at the fresh water.
This reminds me of the Scripture about the Pentecost outpouring. “If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the Scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water” (John 7:37-38).
This reminds me of the Scripture about the Pentecost outpouring. “If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the Scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water” (John 7:37-38).
Candi felt the analogy of the camel was somehwat appropriate to today's political climate as well as religious climate. I wondered why and I asked her.
"Shasta, the very article that led to the religious discussion in our group is very similar to this analogy. Americans are looking for the right camel to send out in search of water. With that being said, what are Christians doing to find that camel? They're praying! That's it...they're not actively looking for that courageous camel that will strike out on it's own and search for the source of help. No...they're too busy doing other things...like sitting in judgement of others, showing up for church but then going home to take a Sunday afternoon nap, and complaining that God has not sent them a savior for the country."
"But Candi, isn't praying what they should be doing?" I asked.
"Yes Shasta, but ask Ana Claire or my sister to name a single miracle in the Bible that God did NOT require some sort of action on the the part of the human asking for the miracle."
I think I finally got it. Between the three of them I see the problem. So here is my solution: Christians, after you've spent time seeking God's wisdom, get up off those knees and get to work. If you want God to move on behalf of this country, step out on faith and demand that our government pay attention. I'm a dog and I know that God requires you to step out on faith when you ask for something!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Put Your Clothes Back On!!!!
So my human is reading an article posted on the Human Events website this morning about the "Occupy Wall Street" protest over the weekend. I couldn't help myself, I had to ask.
"Candi, why is it that liberal women insist on taking their clothes off at demonstrations of this kind?"
"Well Shasta, that's a really good question. I'm not exactly sure what point those women were trying to make other than, they still aren't wearing bras. What's worse is that they don't know what point they were trying to make," she said.
"When you go to rallies and demonstrations, do you take your clothes off?"
"Absolutely NOT! Under NO circumstances would I bare my breasts in protest of anything. Women that do are an embarrassment to REAL LADIES everywhere! I mean, really Shasta...do you think that people want to see 40 + year old women running around with no clothes on? Do these women not realize that gravity has taken hold of their bodies and that MOST people find the effects of said gravity a little disgusting? Trust me Shasta, if you want people to take notice, you have to have a clear and concise message and be willing to keep your clothes on. Otherwise, you just look like an idiot!"
"I have a message I want to get out. However, I only have a few outfits. Do you think it would be possible for us to go shopping for doggie clothes this weekend? I really don't want to be considered foolish for running around naked while trying to get the word out."
As Candi fell over laughing, I brought her the computer and we started shopping for doggie outfits online. I sincerely hope that, like me, liberal women will put their clothes back on!
"Candi, why is it that liberal women insist on taking their clothes off at demonstrations of this kind?"
"Well Shasta, that's a really good question. I'm not exactly sure what point those women were trying to make other than, they still aren't wearing bras. What's worse is that they don't know what point they were trying to make," she said.
"When you go to rallies and demonstrations, do you take your clothes off?"
"Absolutely NOT! Under NO circumstances would I bare my breasts in protest of anything. Women that do are an embarrassment to REAL LADIES everywhere! I mean, really Shasta...do you think that people want to see 40 + year old women running around with no clothes on? Do these women not realize that gravity has taken hold of their bodies and that MOST people find the effects of said gravity a little disgusting? Trust me Shasta, if you want people to take notice, you have to have a clear and concise message and be willing to keep your clothes on. Otherwise, you just look like an idiot!"
"I have a message I want to get out. However, I only have a few outfits. Do you think it would be possible for us to go shopping for doggie clothes this weekend? I really don't want to be considered foolish for running around naked while trying to get the word out."
As Candi fell over laughing, I brought her the computer and we started shopping for doggie outfits online. I sincerely hope that, like me, liberal women will put their clothes back on!
Monday, September 26, 2011
How Can I Be Racist or Anti-Feminism? I'm A Dog
Everytime I turn around, the race card or feminist card is being played by someone in Hollywood. I really don't understand why Hollywood and the left are continually calling my human and her friends racist and anti-feminists. I decided I would do a little research and find out.
After Candi left for the day, I got out her laptop and begin to search for anything I could find on racism and politics. I found a lot of things mentioning racism and feminism by some woman named Janeane Garofalo. I have to say, she seems really weird and is actually very frightening. Then there was that actor named Morgan Freeman that was on CNN last week saying the TEA Party was racist and that Obama's presidency had made racism worse. The one thing I couldn't find was a clear explanation of WHY they think those things. Once again, I decided I would talk to my human and see if she could explain it to me.
I waited patiently all day. I watched the news, read a few blogs, checked out some pages that Candi has bookmarked on her computer, but I was really just killing time. Finally...I heard her car pull up outside. I rushed to the door to meet her with my tail wagging and anxious to get the discussion started.
"Shasta give me five minutes to makes myself some iced tea, take my shoes off and change my clothes. I promise that we'll talk as soon as I'm settled," she said as she came through the door. I was amazed...how did she know I was wanting to talk?
I patiently wait for five more minutes and when she finally sat down, I placed my head in her lap and asked, "I just don't understand why you and your friends are continually being called racist and other mean things. I tried to find out on the internet, but I kept pulling up this really scary looking woman. Can you please explain it to me?"
"Shasta, people resort to name calling and false accusations when they can't understand something. Ms. Garafolo is completely confused by any ethnicity choosing conservative values over liberal ideas. The fact that a woman would be conservative is such a frightening concept to her, she goes apoplectic. So, she gets on the radio or TV and starts making false accusations. She doesn't really know what the TEA Party is about because she's never been to one of our meetings or rallies. On top of that, she refuses to wear a bra and now her boobs are starting to hang out with her knees and she's really unhappy, " Candi stated with a smirk on her face.
"Ok, that is NOT answering my question," I said.
"I can't tell you why Shasta because I don't know why they say the things they do. They have no proof and what is worse, they treat anyone of color or women that don't feel the same way they do really bad. They think they understand why a white man would be a conservative, but for a woman or black man to be conservative...well, we've just left the plantation in their opinion."
"So, are people calling me racist then? Seriously, I'm a TEA Party dog, wouldn't their view make me a racist?"
"I honestly don't know, Shasta."
"Well, I can tell you that there is NO way I could ever be racist because dogs can't distinguish between colors like humans can. So, a black person looks pretty much the same as a white person with a tan to me. And as for women and men, all I know for certain about that, is that women pee sitting down and men do it standing up."
So, Ms. Garafolo and Mr. Freeman...you're opinions are irrelevant because you have NO idea what it means to be a Patriot in the first place. You have no idea that TRUE patriotism doesn't care what color your skin is or what your gender may be. All you know is that you want to put someone else down so you can feel important. Your slanderous accusations do nothing but make you look ridiculous, old and tired, and completely uninformed. I'm a TEA Party dog, and I'm telling you that YOU are the people creating a race and feminism issues. WE are more concerned with reducing the national debt and other important issues, rather than with what gender or color a person may be!
After Candi left for the day, I got out her laptop and begin to search for anything I could find on racism and politics. I found a lot of things mentioning racism and feminism by some woman named Janeane Garofalo. I have to say, she seems really weird and is actually very frightening. Then there was that actor named Morgan Freeman that was on CNN last week saying the TEA Party was racist and that Obama's presidency had made racism worse. The one thing I couldn't find was a clear explanation of WHY they think those things. Once again, I decided I would talk to my human and see if she could explain it to me.
I waited patiently all day. I watched the news, read a few blogs, checked out some pages that Candi has bookmarked on her computer, but I was really just killing time. Finally...I heard her car pull up outside. I rushed to the door to meet her with my tail wagging and anxious to get the discussion started.
"Shasta give me five minutes to makes myself some iced tea, take my shoes off and change my clothes. I promise that we'll talk as soon as I'm settled," she said as she came through the door. I was amazed...how did she know I was wanting to talk?
I patiently wait for five more minutes and when she finally sat down, I placed my head in her lap and asked, "I just don't understand why you and your friends are continually being called racist and other mean things. I tried to find out on the internet, but I kept pulling up this really scary looking woman. Can you please explain it to me?"
"Shasta, people resort to name calling and false accusations when they can't understand something. Ms. Garafolo is completely confused by any ethnicity choosing conservative values over liberal ideas. The fact that a woman would be conservative is such a frightening concept to her, she goes apoplectic. So, she gets on the radio or TV and starts making false accusations. She doesn't really know what the TEA Party is about because she's never been to one of our meetings or rallies. On top of that, she refuses to wear a bra and now her boobs are starting to hang out with her knees and she's really unhappy, " Candi stated with a smirk on her face.
"Ok, that is NOT answering my question," I said.
"I can't tell you why Shasta because I don't know why they say the things they do. They have no proof and what is worse, they treat anyone of color or women that don't feel the same way they do really bad. They think they understand why a white man would be a conservative, but for a woman or black man to be conservative...well, we've just left the plantation in their opinion."
"So, are people calling me racist then? Seriously, I'm a TEA Party dog, wouldn't their view make me a racist?"
"I honestly don't know, Shasta."
"Well, I can tell you that there is NO way I could ever be racist because dogs can't distinguish between colors like humans can. So, a black person looks pretty much the same as a white person with a tan to me. And as for women and men, all I know for certain about that, is that women pee sitting down and men do it standing up."
So, Ms. Garafolo and Mr. Freeman...you're opinions are irrelevant because you have NO idea what it means to be a Patriot in the first place. You have no idea that TRUE patriotism doesn't care what color your skin is or what your gender may be. All you know is that you want to put someone else down so you can feel important. Your slanderous accusations do nothing but make you look ridiculous, old and tired, and completely uninformed. I'm a TEA Party dog, and I'm telling you that YOU are the people creating a race and feminism issues. WE are more concerned with reducing the national debt and other important issues, rather than with what gender or color a person may be!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Politicians Are Like Dogs In The Pound
Now I know that most people have visited their local pound once or twice to adopt an animal. So you will understand exactly what I'm saying. When you go to the pound, you look for an animal that is cute, lovable and reaches out to you. Unfortunately, when people choose an animal, they often forget that the cute little puppy or kitten will eventually grow up. This creates a problem later on down the road, because the adult animal may not have the temperament you thought it had, OR it may end up being bigger than what you thought when it was small. Aren't politicians like that?
When Dems are campaigning, they give us platitudes and ideas that SOUND really good. They even make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. A Dem is really good at suggesting they are going to "reduce" the deficit or debt while stating what they're going to "give" you. But...just like that cute little puppy, they grow! And all of a sudden, you're faced with a gigantic beast that requires a lot more "food" than you thought. I discussed this idea with my human, and I decided that if more people would take a little time to ask questions....some of these Dems would end up staying in the pound!
"Shasta," Candi began, "I have adopted and/or rescued many animals in my time. One thing I've learned is to ask questions about the breeding of the animal. For example, I want to know what kind of mix a puppy is before I take it so that I can do research and estimate what it's needs may be. I adopt the same attitude with government. I do research on politicians, what they stand for, how they've voted on past issues and how many times they've voted in direct violation of their campaign promises. More people need to take this attitude. If they did, maybe we wouldn't have some of the problems in this country that we currently have."
"Well why don't they?" I asked.
"We like to feel warm and fuzzy. And it's easier for us to take the word of someone else than it is for us to check it out ourselves."
So here is my advice. Treat every Dem, and even Republicans, like a dog in the pound. Do your research, ask questions, and then decide which animal would suit your ideas and needs best. I'd be willing to bet that we'll see a lot more Dems left in the pound than Republicans.
When Dems are campaigning, they give us platitudes and ideas that SOUND really good. They even make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. A Dem is really good at suggesting they are going to "reduce" the deficit or debt while stating what they're going to "give" you. But...just like that cute little puppy, they grow! And all of a sudden, you're faced with a gigantic beast that requires a lot more "food" than you thought. I discussed this idea with my human, and I decided that if more people would take a little time to ask questions....some of these Dems would end up staying in the pound!
"Shasta," Candi began, "I have adopted and/or rescued many animals in my time. One thing I've learned is to ask questions about the breeding of the animal. For example, I want to know what kind of mix a puppy is before I take it so that I can do research and estimate what it's needs may be. I adopt the same attitude with government. I do research on politicians, what they stand for, how they've voted on past issues and how many times they've voted in direct violation of their campaign promises. More people need to take this attitude. If they did, maybe we wouldn't have some of the problems in this country that we currently have."
"Well why don't they?" I asked.
"We like to feel warm and fuzzy. And it's easier for us to take the word of someone else than it is for us to check it out ourselves."
So here is my advice. Treat every Dem, and even Republicans, like a dog in the pound. Do your research, ask questions, and then decide which animal would suit your ideas and needs best. I'd be willing to bet that we'll see a lot more Dems left in the pound than Republicans.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Old Math, New Math, Dog Math
Everyday when my human leaves the house, she leaves the TV on for me. She does this so I won't get lonely. What it actually does its educate me on current events. Although I do not have thumbs, I have mastered the remote control. I get the news from various sources and I get to listen to every press conference coming out of D.C. Yesterday I listened to Obama's press conference and I heard him say, "It's not class warfare, it's math." I thought about it and thought about it and thought about it. Then I decided I would try to do the figures myself.
First I tried the "old math" that Candi was taught as a child in school. Obama's numbers didn't add up. I thought, at first, that maybe it was just because I don't have fingers and toes so....I went to get the calculator. How hard can a calculator be to use if I've mastered the remote? Obviously it was a lot harder to use than the remote, because I still couldn't get the numbers to add up.
Then I tried the "new math" that kids are being taught today. Obama's numbers still didn't add up. Again, I thought it was just me. So I went online and tried to figure out what I was doing wrong. Maybe I just had the wrong beginning. Nope, it wasn't the numbers I was given to start with. Hmmmm....why wouldn't the numbers come out right?
Aha...I'll try "dog math", I thought. So I started all over again. Nope...the numbers still don't add up. I used all my doggie toes on my paws, I tried the calculator, I tried an abacus....no matter what I did, nothing worked. So....how did Obama get his numbers to add up? I decided to ask Candi when she got home.
Patiently I waited and then finally I heard her car pull up. I rushed to the door with my tail wagging because I knew that together we could figure it out. As the door opened, I pounced. "Candi," I said, "I need your help. I've been trying all day to get Obama's numbers in his "jobs plan" to come out right and I just can't get it."
"Did you try "old math", she asked. I nodded. "Did you try "new math," she asked. Again, I nodded. "Did you try your "dog math", she asked. Again, I nodded in the affirmative. She sat down, got a pencil and paper out and said, "Ok Shasta, I'm going to teach you how to do "martian math".
So that's it! The President's math is an alien math that only people from another planet can understand. This is how his "Buffet rule" and "jobs plan" numbers come out right! Duh!
First I tried the "old math" that Candi was taught as a child in school. Obama's numbers didn't add up. I thought, at first, that maybe it was just because I don't have fingers and toes so....I went to get the calculator. How hard can a calculator be to use if I've mastered the remote? Obviously it was a lot harder to use than the remote, because I still couldn't get the numbers to add up.
Then I tried the "new math" that kids are being taught today. Obama's numbers still didn't add up. Again, I thought it was just me. So I went online and tried to figure out what I was doing wrong. Maybe I just had the wrong beginning. Nope, it wasn't the numbers I was given to start with. Hmmmm....why wouldn't the numbers come out right?
Aha...I'll try "dog math", I thought. So I started all over again. Nope...the numbers still don't add up. I used all my doggie toes on my paws, I tried the calculator, I tried an abacus....no matter what I did, nothing worked. So....how did Obama get his numbers to add up? I decided to ask Candi when she got home.
Patiently I waited and then finally I heard her car pull up. I rushed to the door with my tail wagging because I knew that together we could figure it out. As the door opened, I pounced. "Candi," I said, "I need your help. I've been trying all day to get Obama's numbers in his "jobs plan" to come out right and I just can't get it."
"Did you try "old math", she asked. I nodded. "Did you try "new math," she asked. Again, I nodded. "Did you try your "dog math", she asked. Again, I nodded in the affirmative. She sat down, got a pencil and paper out and said, "Ok Shasta, I'm going to teach you how to do "martian math".
So that's it! The President's math is an alien math that only people from another planet can understand. This is how his "Buffet rule" and "jobs plan" numbers come out right! Duh!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Time To Rid America of Ticks!!!
Obama and liberals in D.C. are determined to drain every ounce of "blood" from the American people. They refuse to see the failure of liberal policies and so, they keep re-introducing the same old line of "increasing taxes on the rich" and increasing the size of government by proposing a "jobs plan" that does nothing for actual recovery. Does this NOT sound like a tick to you? It sure does to me!
Americans take great pains in removing parasites from their beloved pets, but what are we actually doing to get rid of this parasitic administration? You'll take your dog or cat to the vet when you THINK there might be a problem, but have you taken our government to your friends and family when you KNOW there is a problem?
It is time for Americans to remove the tick that is sucking the blood from the citizenry of the United States. Obama and his cronies must be made to understand that we will not allow them to swell government to the point that this great nation is no longer recognizable.
My human said it best, "I don't like removing ticks and other parasites from you, Shasta, but it has to be done. It's for your overall well being!" Of course, she's saying this as she's making gagging noises and trying not to throw up.
I don't really like biting liberals (they have a bad after taste), but I do it when necessary.
The removal of ticks is gross, but it is necessary. Will you help me rid America of the ticks that are threatening to drain the very essence of what makes this country great?
Americans take great pains in removing parasites from their beloved pets, but what are we actually doing to get rid of this parasitic administration? You'll take your dog or cat to the vet when you THINK there might be a problem, but have you taken our government to your friends and family when you KNOW there is a problem?
It is time for Americans to remove the tick that is sucking the blood from the citizenry of the United States. Obama and his cronies must be made to understand that we will not allow them to swell government to the point that this great nation is no longer recognizable.
My human said it best, "I don't like removing ticks and other parasites from you, Shasta, but it has to be done. It's for your overall well being!" Of course, she's saying this as she's making gagging noises and trying not to throw up.
I don't really like biting liberals (they have a bad after taste), but I do it when necessary.
The removal of ticks is gross, but it is necessary. Will you help me rid America of the ticks that are threatening to drain the very essence of what makes this country great?
Monday, September 12, 2011
How Obama And I Are Alike
Last night, my human was online discussing 2012 presidential candidates with friends. Although she won't give us her favorite at this time, not even me, she joined in the discussion and shared the pros and cons of each candidate as she sees it. Then I began to think about something that was said. How the Democratic Party had groomed President Obama. The thought that struck me hardest was how much alike he and I are. Let me explain.
Candi has spent hours training me and I am usually pretty good about doing what is expected. For example, I'm not allowed to sit and watch her eat. She says that it isn't cool for dogs to do that because what they're doing is begging. I can see her point. But here's the thing, I do watch her eat. When she catches me watching her, I quickly turn my head away to avoid being punished. I'm hoping she won't notice that I had been watching. Unfortunately for me, she never buys it. Obama is kind of the same way. His party had trained him to do certain things and for the most part, he does what he was taught. However, ever so often he strays and when he gets caught, he tries to pretend he wasn't so that maybe they won't notice. Guess what? His party and the American people aren't buying it anymore than Candi buys that I wasn't watching her eat. If they were buying, Maxine Waters wouldn't be screaming in frustration and Pelosi wouldn't have been caught saying, "Great words, but...". Think about it!
When I mentioned this to my human as we were going to bed, she began to giggle. She said I had a point and that maybe we could send "The Dog Whisperer" to the White House to "re-train" Obama. She's a firm believer that "an old dog CAN learn new tricks" IF they have the right human. So here's my suggestion. Let's get rid of the trainers in Washington, on the state and local levels and replace them with trainers who have common sense and are true Patriots. It's just a suggestion!
Candi has spent hours training me and I am usually pretty good about doing what is expected. For example, I'm not allowed to sit and watch her eat. She says that it isn't cool for dogs to do that because what they're doing is begging. I can see her point. But here's the thing, I do watch her eat. When she catches me watching her, I quickly turn my head away to avoid being punished. I'm hoping she won't notice that I had been watching. Unfortunately for me, she never buys it. Obama is kind of the same way. His party had trained him to do certain things and for the most part, he does what he was taught. However, ever so often he strays and when he gets caught, he tries to pretend he wasn't so that maybe they won't notice. Guess what? His party and the American people aren't buying it anymore than Candi buys that I wasn't watching her eat. If they were buying, Maxine Waters wouldn't be screaming in frustration and Pelosi wouldn't have been caught saying, "Great words, but...". Think about it!
When I mentioned this to my human as we were going to bed, she began to giggle. She said I had a point and that maybe we could send "The Dog Whisperer" to the White House to "re-train" Obama. She's a firm believer that "an old dog CAN learn new tricks" IF they have the right human. So here's my suggestion. Let's get rid of the trainers in Washington, on the state and local levels and replace them with trainers who have common sense and are true Patriots. It's just a suggestion!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
In Remembrance of 9/11
This morning began as usual. My human got up, we worked on Therapy Dogs International training, she took me outside to drop my Obama, had her coffee and caught up on emails. Then she tuned into the coverage of the 9/11 memorial services and she began to cry.
"Candi, I don't understand your tears," I said.
Very quietly and with a solemn expression in her tear filled eyes Candi said, "It's simple to explain. Terrorists attacked this country in a vile and cowardly way ten years ago today. Thousands of innocent lives were lost that day. Lives are still being lost as our men and women overseas fight to prevent that kind of attack from ever happening again. I cry for those who were lost, I cry for those left behind, and I cry for those fighting to protect us."
I had nothing to say. I was moved beyond words at the sheer love my human has for her country, her fellow man and those fighting to preserve our freedoms. So I lay my head in her lap, nudged her hand to lay on my head and together we closed our eyes to say a prayer in rememberance of 9/11.
"Candi, I don't understand your tears," I said.
Very quietly and with a solemn expression in her tear filled eyes Candi said, "It's simple to explain. Terrorists attacked this country in a vile and cowardly way ten years ago today. Thousands of innocent lives were lost that day. Lives are still being lost as our men and women overseas fight to prevent that kind of attack from ever happening again. I cry for those who were lost, I cry for those left behind, and I cry for those fighting to protect us."
I had nothing to say. I was moved beyond words at the sheer love my human has for her country, her fellow man and those fighting to preserve our freedoms. So I lay my head in her lap, nudged her hand to lay on my head and together we closed our eyes to say a prayer in rememberance of 9/11.
Friday, September 9, 2011
The Pledge of Allegiance In Schools
When my human finally got rid of the moron that brought me to her, the first thing she did was sit me down and give me civics lessons. I can proudly say that I can bark the Pledge of Allegiance and that I understand what our Founding Fathers had in mind when writing the Declaration of Independence and Constitution. What amazes me...most kids today don't have a clue and are not required to learn the Pledge in schools. I have to take Candi's side in this....it is a disgrace that children are no longer taught pride in their country in school!
This morning Candi went on a rant after reading a news article out of a Boston newspaper. It seems that there is a small group in a small town in MA that are trying to ban the Pledge of Allegiance from schools altogether. She couldn't believe it! Immediately we called to action fellow activists and now we are on the move. I'd feel sorry for the Governor, but he should have taken a stand on the issue.
There is precious little that I can do as a K-9, but I can stand by my humans side and bite anyone that gets in her way while she is calling this sort of thing out. I really don't like the taste of stupidity, but I must help my human in her endeavors. I can stand next to our service men and women, who are fighting for our freedoms, and bow my doggie head during the National Anthem while they stand saluting Old Glory at smart attention. I can write this blog and help my human spread the word about idiot liberals who are trying to make patriotism and pride in country a crime.
We will not stand idly by while liberals strip away our rights and freedoms one by one. We will not allow them to make us feel ashamed of being citizens of the greatest country on Earth. We will fight to the bitter end to make sure our children and grandchildren understand what a great country they live in and to appreciate the military who secure those freedoms for us. We will fight to bring the Pledge of Allegiance to schools again!
This morning Candi went on a rant after reading a news article out of a Boston newspaper. It seems that there is a small group in a small town in MA that are trying to ban the Pledge of Allegiance from schools altogether. She couldn't believe it! Immediately we called to action fellow activists and now we are on the move. I'd feel sorry for the Governor, but he should have taken a stand on the issue.
There is precious little that I can do as a K-9, but I can stand by my humans side and bite anyone that gets in her way while she is calling this sort of thing out. I really don't like the taste of stupidity, but I must help my human in her endeavors. I can stand next to our service men and women, who are fighting for our freedoms, and bow my doggie head during the National Anthem while they stand saluting Old Glory at smart attention. I can write this blog and help my human spread the word about idiot liberals who are trying to make patriotism and pride in country a crime.
We will not stand idly by while liberals strip away our rights and freedoms one by one. We will not allow them to make us feel ashamed of being citizens of the greatest country on Earth. We will fight to the bitter end to make sure our children and grandchildren understand what a great country they live in and to appreciate the military who secure those freedoms for us. We will fight to bring the Pledge of Allegiance to schools again!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
My Thoughts On Obama's Job Speech
Tonight my human tuned into POTUS' job speech while chatting live with her fellow Smart Girls and Guys on SGP. I, as usual, turned my back on Obama because I just can't stand to look at him. I do, however, wish to share my thoughts about the speech with you.
Once again, TOTUS did all the work! Of course, TOTUS is the hardest working member of the Congress! Still, it seemed someone had coached POTUS on how to put inflections into his voice. This did not make him any more interesting to listen to, but at least I didn't hear the normal monotone.
POTUS once again blamed the rich for not paying their fair share and even once mentioned Warren Buffet by name. Those in attendance seemed bored with this rhetoric. They should be bored. POTUS said absolutely nothing that they hadn't heard before. Biden looked very uncomfortable and Boehner should be awarded an Oscar for not laughing at the same old ridiculous content!
Nothing he said was new. Although this was expected, I have to wonder....he blames big business, the rich, Congress, Republicans and TEA partiers on a regular basis, when is he going to blame the K-9 population? Seriously! After asking Candi, I have confirmed that I do not pay my fair share! According to her, I contribute absolutely nothing to society. Yet we have been left out of the blame game that POTUS likes to play!
POTUS also never said how he is going to pay for his new jobs plan. Candi figures it will once again come out of the pockets of small business. He also wants more regulations that will stifle small business. So...how is small business supposed to pay if they are in bankruptcy due to all the regulations?
Now, I know I'm just a dog, but even I know that nothing that POTUS said made any sense at all! Tonight's speech was nothing more than a campaign speech and he abused his power as President by asking for a joint session of Congress! More taxpayer money wasted so that he could give a campaign speech! Ughhh...
"Candi," I began, "Would you please take me to D.C. so I can bite that moron on the bum? Maybe then he'll get a grip on reality and Americans can move forward!"
"I'm packing now, Shasta!"
Please excuse me now while I do a happy dance at getting to do something useful and contribute to society!!!!
Once again, TOTUS did all the work! Of course, TOTUS is the hardest working member of the Congress! Still, it seemed someone had coached POTUS on how to put inflections into his voice. This did not make him any more interesting to listen to, but at least I didn't hear the normal monotone.
POTUS once again blamed the rich for not paying their fair share and even once mentioned Warren Buffet by name. Those in attendance seemed bored with this rhetoric. They should be bored. POTUS said absolutely nothing that they hadn't heard before. Biden looked very uncomfortable and Boehner should be awarded an Oscar for not laughing at the same old ridiculous content!
Nothing he said was new. Although this was expected, I have to wonder....he blames big business, the rich, Congress, Republicans and TEA partiers on a regular basis, when is he going to blame the K-9 population? Seriously! After asking Candi, I have confirmed that I do not pay my fair share! According to her, I contribute absolutely nothing to society. Yet we have been left out of the blame game that POTUS likes to play!
POTUS also never said how he is going to pay for his new jobs plan. Candi figures it will once again come out of the pockets of small business. He also wants more regulations that will stifle small business. So...how is small business supposed to pay if they are in bankruptcy due to all the regulations?
Now, I know I'm just a dog, but even I know that nothing that POTUS said made any sense at all! Tonight's speech was nothing more than a campaign speech and he abused his power as President by asking for a joint session of Congress! More taxpayer money wasted so that he could give a campaign speech! Ughhh...
"Candi," I began, "Would you please take me to D.C. so I can bite that moron on the bum? Maybe then he'll get a grip on reality and Americans can move forward!"
"I'm packing now, Shasta!"
Please excuse me now while I do a happy dance at getting to do something useful and contribute to society!!!!
How Michelle Obama Can Really Help
A few nights ago, my human couldn't sleep so got back out of bed and opened her computer to Facebook. There she reads the following post by her friend:
I can see the hate mail pouring in, but she does have a point. If Michelle Obama really wanted to help America get over its obesity problem, she would stop targeting the young and aim her guns at these women. She'd petition her husband to outlaw wearing such garments and shoes if they exceed a certain weight limit. Or as Candi put it, "She could petition the government to outlaw the sale of "magic mirrors" so that people wouldn't think they looked hot when they don't!"
In the interest of full disclosure, we'll say upfront that my human is on the somewhat small side of the scale. She does, however, come from a line of people on the larger side of the scale. Naturally she can see both sides of the argument. With that being said, her people don't embarass themselves by wearing spandex clothing stretched so taut that it shows their underwear.
So Ms. Obama, here is what Candi and I think you could do to truly help America's obesity problem. 1.) Present a plan that would prevent bigger people from being allowed to wear certain types of clothing or shoes if they reach an undesirable weight. The undesirable weight should be determined on height and bone structure and an independent panel of doctors would negotiate the weight limits for each group. 2.) Offer the reward of a license to wear "sexy" clothing to those who take the initiative to do something about their weight. Only those who take the initiative themselves and don't take anything from the government should be allowed to apply for the license. 3.)After completing steps 1 and 2, sit down and shut up! We don't want to hear your "do as I say and not as I do" crap. Let's face it Michelle, you haven't been blameless in this area either!
In my humble opinion as a dog, I think this is a win/win solution for everyone. You get healthier Americans and guys like my human's friend, will no longer be haunted by the spectacle of bigger women wearing things they shouldn't! Just saying.
Then he posts another comment in his status bar that said:A little note to the bigger girls; Please do not wear skin tight above mid thigh skirts with 4 inch heels. First normal guys do not find that sexy, second when you put your weight on that heel and it breaks, I will laugh my ass of at you, not help you get up and not ask if you are ok!! You were asking for what you get!!
Naturally, my human agrees with her friend and began to giggle. Then the commenting began. This continued for about an hour. Finally, my human decides its time to put the computer away and go to bed. As we are laying there in bed talking about the post and the comments, I realize that her friend had a point about the government intervening. What he got wrong was, he should have mentioned Michelle Obama and NOT the government specifically. As Candi and I are discussing this, she suddenly looks at me with a gleam in her eye and says, "Shasta, guess what you're going to be blogging about this week!"
I can see the hate mail pouring in, but she does have a point. If Michelle Obama really wanted to help America get over its obesity problem, she would stop targeting the young and aim her guns at these women. She'd petition her husband to outlaw wearing such garments and shoes if they exceed a certain weight limit. Or as Candi put it, "She could petition the government to outlaw the sale of "magic mirrors" so that people wouldn't think they looked hot when they don't!"
In the interest of full disclosure, we'll say upfront that my human is on the somewhat small side of the scale. She does, however, come from a line of people on the larger side of the scale. Naturally she can see both sides of the argument. With that being said, her people don't embarass themselves by wearing spandex clothing stretched so taut that it shows their underwear.
So Ms. Obama, here is what Candi and I think you could do to truly help America's obesity problem. 1.) Present a plan that would prevent bigger people from being allowed to wear certain types of clothing or shoes if they reach an undesirable weight. The undesirable weight should be determined on height and bone structure and an independent panel of doctors would negotiate the weight limits for each group. 2.) Offer the reward of a license to wear "sexy" clothing to those who take the initiative to do something about their weight. Only those who take the initiative themselves and don't take anything from the government should be allowed to apply for the license. 3.)After completing steps 1 and 2, sit down and shut up! We don't want to hear your "do as I say and not as I do" crap. Let's face it Michelle, you haven't been blameless in this area either!
In my humble opinion as a dog, I think this is a win/win solution for everyone. You get healthier Americans and guys like my human's friend, will no longer be haunted by the spectacle of bigger women wearing things they shouldn't! Just saying.
Obama: The King Of Denial
Mr. Obama absolutely cannot control those closest to him. His refusal to call them out for their hateful and slanderous rhetoric gives them a bully pulpit. Mr. Hoffa, Jr., is just the latest example. His speech filled with hate against the TEA party has outraged many looking for more civility in politics. But did the White House even acknowledge the comments? NO! Jay Carney even went so far as to tell the press that Mr. Obama didn't even hear the comments. Candi and I find Mr. Obama's deafness intriguing since he was just off stage waiting to speak!
Here's the thing. Obama won't acknowledge his failed policies, he won't acknowledge the hateful rhetoric coming from his own party and he won't acknowledge that he has hired idiots to advise him. This indicates that he is truly: The King of Denial!
It is up to TEA party members across this country to keep up the pressure. We must keep putting the word out there. If we are to succeed in draining the kool aid from the cooler, we have to be ever vigilant and continue calling on Mr. Obama and his cronies to stop the hateful rhetoric from their party. They gleefully call out any moderate or conservative for any vile speech, but won't call out their own. Mr. Obama, your double standard is showing and the American people aren't stupid enough to let you get away with it anymore! We will continue to put pressure on your administration for condemning us and NOT condemning your own party. By the way, Mr. Obama, I can find hundreds of examples of hateful rhetoric from Democrats, but very few instances from TEA partiers. Believe me, I've looked!
My solution to this problem is simple. Anyone caught using vile language, making unsubstantiated accusations, or threatening anyone else from either party, will be bitten in the bum by a dog. The choice of the dog will be left up to the individual victim of any such actions. Personally, we dislike the taste of human bums, but we'll do what needs to be done...starting with you for your failure to call out the guilty within your own party. TEA party dogs have decided we're taking your crown and you will no longer be allowed to be: King of Denial!
Here's the thing. Obama won't acknowledge his failed policies, he won't acknowledge the hateful rhetoric coming from his own party and he won't acknowledge that he has hired idiots to advise him. This indicates that he is truly: The King of Denial!
It is up to TEA party members across this country to keep up the pressure. We must keep putting the word out there. If we are to succeed in draining the kool aid from the cooler, we have to be ever vigilant and continue calling on Mr. Obama and his cronies to stop the hateful rhetoric from their party. They gleefully call out any moderate or conservative for any vile speech, but won't call out their own. Mr. Obama, your double standard is showing and the American people aren't stupid enough to let you get away with it anymore! We will continue to put pressure on your administration for condemning us and NOT condemning your own party. By the way, Mr. Obama, I can find hundreds of examples of hateful rhetoric from Democrats, but very few instances from TEA partiers. Believe me, I've looked!
My solution to this problem is simple. Anyone caught using vile language, making unsubstantiated accusations, or threatening anyone else from either party, will be bitten in the bum by a dog. The choice of the dog will be left up to the individual victim of any such actions. Personally, we dislike the taste of human bums, but we'll do what needs to be done...starting with you for your failure to call out the guilty within your own party. TEA party dogs have decided we're taking your crown and you will no longer be allowed to be: King of Denial!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
The Regurgitating President
Ok, so I know I'm a dog, but there are some basic things that humans can learn from their K-9 companions. For instance, loyalty counts! We're always ready to support and love you...no matter what! If humans could learn that behavior when it comes to how they treat family and friends, the world would be a better place. We also know that there are things that humans shouldn't do that we do. For instance, eat someone else's regurgitated food! So that is where we are tonight. Talking about the regurgitation of our President!
Candi is doing her thing on the internet. Reading articles, researching and posting like crazy. The woman absorbs information like a sponge absorbs water. But...she isn't content with just the national news...NO, my human has to be interested in local and state politics around the country. And, as usual, she begins to talk to me about all the information. And I begin to notice how often the same things are said over and over. Our President seems to be the worst, so I say to my human:
"Candi, is it just me or does Obama constantly spew the same rhetoric?"
"It isn't you, Shastsa. He does. I don't think anyone in America is buying it anymore, but he thinks that if he keeps saying the same thing over and over, we'll eventually start buying it again. The problem is, his rhetoric and policies left a bad taste in our mouths the first time and he doesn't understand that we don't want to try tasting it again!"
"I see," I said. "So what you're saying is everytime the American people hear it, they puke and he just scoops up your vomit and serves it back to you, right?"
"Pretty much!"
"You know, dogs do that all the time. The difference is, we walk around on four legs, have little to no self-control and have the intellectual capacity of a two-year old. Do you think Obama keeps regurgitating the same old crap because he thinks of you guys as K-9's," I asked.
"Well Shasta, I think he thinks he's the smartest person in the room and that the American people are too stupid to realize we're being served vomit. And, I also think that he'll continue to do that until he's voted out in November of 2012."
"So I take it you're not going to watch his speech next week. What are you going to watch, Candi?"
She grinned from ear to ear and said, "Football, baby!"
Candi is doing her thing on the internet. Reading articles, researching and posting like crazy. The woman absorbs information like a sponge absorbs water. But...she isn't content with just the national news...NO, my human has to be interested in local and state politics around the country. And, as usual, she begins to talk to me about all the information. And I begin to notice how often the same things are said over and over. Our President seems to be the worst, so I say to my human:
"Candi, is it just me or does Obama constantly spew the same rhetoric?"
"It isn't you, Shastsa. He does. I don't think anyone in America is buying it anymore, but he thinks that if he keeps saying the same thing over and over, we'll eventually start buying it again. The problem is, his rhetoric and policies left a bad taste in our mouths the first time and he doesn't understand that we don't want to try tasting it again!"
"I see," I said. "So what you're saying is everytime the American people hear it, they puke and he just scoops up your vomit and serves it back to you, right?"
"Pretty much!"
"You know, dogs do that all the time. The difference is, we walk around on four legs, have little to no self-control and have the intellectual capacity of a two-year old. Do you think Obama keeps regurgitating the same old crap because he thinks of you guys as K-9's," I asked.
"Well Shasta, I think he thinks he's the smartest person in the room and that the American people are too stupid to realize we're being served vomit. And, I also think that he'll continue to do that until he's voted out in November of 2012."
"So I take it you're not going to watch his speech next week. What are you going to watch, Candi?"
She grinned from ear to ear and said, "Football, baby!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)