Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Open Letter To Donna DeWitt

Dear Ms. Dewitt,

How is what you are doing considered "good fun"?  Seriously, you should be arrested for making terroristic threats against Governor Nikki Haley.  You used an aluminum bat to swing at a pinata with the Governor's face on it and you think it's harmless?  Have you lost your mind?  In what world are you NOT encouraging your followers to act out violently?  In what world are people who would cheer you on considered "loving people"?

Had conservatives been caught on tape doing this to a pinata bearing your image, you would most certainly be pressing charges.  You behave no better than my little brother Patton in this video.  The difference is, he actually didn't mean any "ill intent" and you clearly do.  Actions speak louder than words, Ms. DeWitt.  Your hypocrisy is astounding and you're a disgrace to Southern women, the union members you represent and your country!  There is no place in society for people like you and your followers that would incite violence with ridiculous games like this.

Shame on you Ms. DeWitt!!!


Monday, May 21, 2012

What Does Your Child Learn?

Everyday my human complains about liberals taking over the education system in America.  After watching the following YouTube video, I have to agree.

First, this woman clearly has no control over her own classroom.  While listening to this, I heard plenty of kids in the classroom having conversations that are obviously not related to the subject.  That one fact alone give me serious pause about her ability to teach any of our children.  How can you teach if you can't command the attention of your pupils?

Second, this woman has no idea what FREE SPEECH means.  The student is correct.  It is not a crime to voicing a dissenting opinion against the President of the United States.  It is a crime to THREATEN the President.  This kid questioned the information being presented and tried to get both sides.  That was in NO WAY a threat or slandering Obama.

Last, why has this teacher not been fired?  I can guarantee you that any teacher who would talk to my human's daughter that way because she asked a valid question would be in deep water.  My human would be taking her stilettos and bopping the teacher on the head with the heels for bullying her child that way.  The point of school is to educate.  You can't teach if you aren't willing to hear the question.

This teacher is clearly NOT a teacher.  She is a bully who uses her position to drive home HER opinion.  It is the opinion of this canine that she prefers to only hear what others have to say IF they agree with her.  That is NOT what school is about and I would hope that the school district would reprimand her immediately.  Of course, with unions in control...I don't see that one happening any time soon.  Wonder what your children are being subjected to by their Social Studies teachers.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

The Unforgivable

This morning my human woke up to find Patton had committed an unforgivable sin.  He ate her shoes!  It is such a horrendous act in her mind that she actually compared him to Obama.  Can you believe that?  In a way I can understand it.  They both destroy things and neither have learned from their mistakes yet.

After twelve full hours, Candi is still giving Patton the evil eye.  The poor little guy is so upset that he hasn't eaten his food and is walking around with his head hung in shame trying to stay out of her way.  If only Obama would behave that way for the American people.  Just like Patton he has a lot to answer for and a lot to be ashamed of.  How he could think destroying the freedom that makes America great is a good thing is beyond this canine's scope of understanding.

Eventually Candi will forgive Patton.  The shoes will be replaced with new ones and all will be well in that area soon.  Unfortunately for America, this country can never be replaced.  And much like Candi was thinking about taking Patton to doggie jail for his unforgivable sin this morning, Americans should be thinking along the same lines when it comes to Obama.  We cannot tolerate his behavior any longer.  We cannot allow him to continue the destruction of the greatest country on Earth.  To do so would be truly unforgivable!

One thing that makes Patton different from Obama is that he doesn't understand what he's doing yet.  All he knows is that he can smell our human on clothing, shoes and various other things and he wants to be close to her and play.  Obama, on the other hand, knows exactly what he is doing and doesn't give a flip.  Obama is not wanting to make things better for Americans, he is wanting to enslave them.

Often children destroy what they love most because they don't know any better.  Patton is that child.  But sometimes, they do know better and do it anyway.  Obama is that child.  Please help my human keep Obama from doing anymore harm to our country.  Call your representatives in D.C. and let them know where you stand.  Make sure to vote in November.  We can't have a willful child like Obama for another four years anymore than Candi can have Patton continuing to chew on her favorite 'sinning shoes'.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

How To Be A Happy Liberal Woman

I think I have finally figured out why liberal women are in a constant bad mood.  They’re always claiming to be something they aren’t while demanding equal treatment.  That has to be frustrating beyond belief.

Elizabeth Warren is a prime example of this type of mentality.  For years she claimed to be Native American in an attempt to garner preferential treatment while demanding that she be given EQUAL opportunity.  Thanks to the internet and a little thing called YouTube, we now have musical proof of her claims.

So, she claims to be Indian while demanding equality.  How exactly does that work?  I can understand why she always wears a scowl on her face now.  I’d be in a constant state of frustration and panic if I had to fight battles on two fronts, too. 
As many of you know, my human loves classic movies.  This provides us with a lot of entertainment and every once in a while, inspires us with pro-American thoughts and attitudes.  Now I would like to share one of those moments with Ms. Warren.  Please, Ms. Warren, take a look at the following video and see if you can figure out the message.

That’s right, we’re inviting you to be true to your Native American heritage and “pass the peace pipe”.  I’m sure that if you learn this song and dance, take the advice, AND pass it on to other liberal women…you’ll all feel a lot better and those perpetual scowls on your faces will disappear.

Oh yes, and don’t forget the next time you are filling out paperwork that you are only a small part Indian.  Like Patton, my adopted younger brother, we are all “mutts” and have various national and ethnic backgrounds in our family histories.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Obama's Audacity Has No Limits

Sometimes I’m just dumbfounded by human behavior.  Seriously…there are just some things that you don’t do!  Our President has got to be one of the most “self-important” people I’ve ever had the misfortune to watch in action.  Why was it necessary for him to insert himself into the biographies of other President’s on  It isn’t like he didn’t get his very own bio on the website!

Apparently that wasn’t good enough.  Obama thinks he is God and that all other Presidents were just a prelude to his greatness.  Starting with Calvin Coolidge, he inserted himself into at least 13 other bios of past President’s.  How arrogant is that?  Isn’t enough for the egotistical blowhard that he has his own bio and the distinction of being the first African-American President? 

He even had the audacity to insert himself into a TEA Party hero, Ronald Reagan.  This is something that my human was particularly humored by.  Obviously, Obama thinks he is Reagan’s equal.  I wonder how it feels to live in an alternate universe?  And forgive me, but Reagan calling for a fairer tax code is in no way the same as Obama’s “Buffet Rule”.  I know I’m just a canine, but how does asking people to pay MORE than others make the tax code fair? Really Mr. President, you may want to look up the definition of fair again.

We did find it somewhat appropriate that he would compare himself to Jimmy Carter.  After all, in my opinion, it’s a toss-up as to who is the worst President in U.S. History.  And both like to complain about how they get no cooperation from Congress.  The DOE and the EPA are doing their best to insure that Energy Independence don’t happen unless it’s “Green Energy”.  And we all know that means higher energy prices in the future because the technology for “Green Energy” just isn’t there to make it cheaper.  Of course, Solyndra could always magically come up with a formula to make it so cheap they can begin operations again with no money.

What a narcissistic fool Obama is!  How ridiculous is it that he can’t be satisfied with his very own bio on the White House website?  If you ask me, it is just bad form to insert yourself into another’s bio when you have one of your own.  Not only is it bad form, but it shows just what a lack of self esteem you have!  Obviously Mr. Obama needs to learn that actions speak louder than words and that all the words in the world will not cover up the idiocy of your actions.  Those who are actually accomplishing something good do not need to talk about how they’ve built upon what others have started.

If I, a mere ‘female dog’, know that this unlimited audacity is bad for the country, why doesn’t everyone else?  If you think he’s narcissistic now, just wait until he does away with elections completely and our nation becomes enslaved.

Monday, May 14, 2012

A Tornado, Mother's Day and Me

Sometimes you just can’t resist being bad.  This weekend was one of those times.  Candi went to see her daughter race her jetski down in Macon.  Now she knows how much I love going to the lake, so I was really disappointed at being left behind to babysit the tornado known as Patton.  OK…so it was Mother’s Day weekend and I shouldn’t have done it, but Candi needed to learn a lesson.
I sat back and gave Patton encouragement as he pulled out all the laundry from the hamper, rearranged the cushions on the sofa and nearly pulled the bed linens off the bed.  I did tell him that Candi would appreciate all he was doing to help her.  And I did know that she was going to be upset when she got home.  Well…she shouldn’t have left me behind.
Needless to say, I am now in eternal timeout for being a ‘bad babysitter’ and not stopping Patton from doing things he shouldn’t.  I am willing to pay the price for my bad behavior because I thoroughly enjoyed watching Patton getting in trouble.  I also thoroughly enjoyed watching my human clean up after the tornado because she had left me behind.  Payback is a ‘female dog’ as they say and this ‘female dog’ wanted to make sure this sort of thing didn’t happen again.
Now things are back to normal.  It’s Monday and our human is at work.  Patton and I are in timeout, but that won’t last very long.  Our human does understand that sometimes we will do what dogs do.  She’s a good human and she deserves to have some fun, too.  So…Happy Mother’s Day to all the fabulous human moms out there.  Especially my human!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

No Excuses!!!

There are many things that cause me to want to take a bite out of the bum of people.  One thing, however, not only makes me want to bite them…I want to go for their jugulars.  The abuse of children in any way shape or form is unacceptable to me, but sexual abuse of children makes me want to have your innards for desert.  To excuse yourself from participation in child pornography because it showed up on your computer without your knowledge or consent is complete and utter horse shit!

I know for a fact that if you aren’t looking for that sort of thing, it doesn’t show up in your emails and/or on your computer screen.  My human has never had that sort of thing show up on her computer.  Of course, she doesn’t go looking for porn of any kind on the internet.  Companies pay good money for these ‘cookies’ that track what you search on the internet so that they can send ads and emails directly to you.

I’ll give you a prime example.  Last week my human did a search on motorcycle riding boots.  Because of that search, she now gets daily emails and ads pop up on her screen for boots of all kinds.  If she hadn’t done that search, we’d still be seeing pet supply ads and getting those emails.  Don’t try and tell me you didn’t do a search and that you’re getting child pornography in your inbox all of a sudden for no reason.  You would have had to do a search on something that would make you a target for that filth!

I am disgusted beyond belief that the court of appeals in NY would say that the viewing of child pornography on the internet is not a crime.  To suggest that you have no control of the content that comes across your computer screen is ludicrous.  I’m a dog and know that!  What planet do these judges come from?  What alternate universe do they live in that would condone this kind of behavior and put millions of children at risk?  I believe there is a special place in hell for these people and the judges who have condoned such behavior.  As a matter of fact, I’ll be more than happy to escort them to that place myself!  All they have done is make it acceptable for pedophiles and porn addicts to openly ask for this material.  The suppliers have to be thrilled!

Wake up America!  The dregs of humanity are taking over this country and the current liberal establishment is making it easier for them.  When will you defend the innocent?  When will you stand up and be counted in order to protect those that cannot protect themselves?  When will you stand up for the morals and ethics that this great nation was founded on?  I’m just a canine, but I’m doing my part to stand up to the evils that are threatening my country.  If a dog can do it…what’s your excuse for not?

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

W. VA Decides Which Inmate They Want

Humans!  I love you all.  You are an unending source of humor for canines like me.  This morning while perusing the news with my favorite human, I noticed that 40% of humans in one state would rather have a convict in prison over the current President of the United States.  This strikes me as really funny.

What does it say about the current administration that these humans, which are registered Democrats, would rather have a criminal in the White House than Obama?  It says a lot to me.  It says that the ‘enlightened ones’ (Democrats) aren’t buying his bull any more.  I’ve known for years that conservatives like my human weren’t buying it, but seeing that humans on the other side aren’t is….well…it brings this canine hope.

You see, even dogs know that America can’t afford another four years of Obama and his policies.  I know you probably think I’m worried about Obama being in office for another four years because I might wind up on someone’s dinner plate, but I can assure you that is not the case.  I’m worried because I’ve seen first-hand what his programs have done to my human’s family.  Their business almost didn’t survive some of his programs.  As I am totally dependent upon the success of their business for my needs, it frightened me.  It still frightens me.  I’m worried that the excessive taxation that Obama and his cronies are so keen on will leave my human without a way to take me to the vet, pay for my food or even allow her to not work long enough to take me on long walks and/or hikes.

I want to give two paws up to all the voters in West Virginia for casting a vote against Obama in yesterday’s democratic primary!  Woof Woof to y’all!

Friday, May 4, 2012

Pelosi, Pot and State Rights

It seems that Nancy Pelosi is calling for Obama to respect states rights.  I realize that it’s mainly over ‘medical marijuana’, but I still find it odd that she is in favor of states rights at all.  Isn’t this the same woman who helped give us Obamacare?  

Hang on…Candi needs help getting off the floor because she’s laughing so hard.

Ok…Candi is going to be just fine.  I was worried for a moment because she was snorting and couldn’t catch her breath. 

I cannot be the only one who finds the irony of this story.  Since when do liberals and Democrats care about states rights?  The last time I checked, which was just a few moments ago, they were more concerned about the federal government being in complete control of every aspect of American lives.  Want proof?  Just look at Obamacare.  The individual mandate alone is proof positive that liberals/Democrats want to dictate to the individuals and the states what is best for them.  Nancy honey…put down the bong!

Wait…Candi fell over laughing again.  I’ll be right back.

Of course Pelosi comes from an extremely liberal state that is very concerned about legalizing “pot”, but still…the hypocrisy of her wanting states rights respected on this while not respecting any other states rights is too funny!  I have to wonder what she put in that bong of hers.  Do you suppose she has her own medical marijuana garden in her backyard and she’s worried about the raids on her own property?  It could be.

At any rate, you can check out the story on The Daily Caller.  Here is the link:
And if you love the irony of it as much as my human…please share the story with everyone you know.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Issues Belong To Everyone

The Obama campaign comes up with a composite fictional character named Julia to feature in a slide show about how he is helping women.  Excuse me a moment, I’m laughing hysterically with my human!  Ok…I’m done for the time being.  The fictional character starts at age three and goes through age sixty-seven in the slideshow.  At the end we see the final panel that says:
From cracking down on gender discrimination in health care costs to fighting for equal pay, President Obama is standing up for women throughout their lives.

Candi and I are trying to figure out just how he doesn’t discriminate against women with his healthcare law.  We can’t see that he’s really done anything new on the equal pay front, either.  And throughout the entire thing, he tells us what Romney would do to reverse all Obama’s hard work.  Excuse me just a moment.  Mr. Obama, did you do all the things you claim in the slideshow between rounds of golf and family vacations? 

Here’s the thing.  I’ve been watching and I know with absolute certainty that liberals and democrats don’t honestly care about women’s issues.  All they’re trying to do is keep the country divided by breaking down individual things into a specific group issue. 

The fact of the matter is…all issues belong to everyone.  Stop making this about men or women and white or black.  The issues facing this country are non-racial and non-gender.  Seriously people, take it from this “female dog” and stop the nonsense.  Let’s get down to the business of finding real solutions to problems that belong to all races and genders!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Our Morning Adventure With Patton

Today was Patton’s big day.  Our human got up bright and early this morning to take him to the clinic for his “snip snip” surgery.  It was an adventure to say the least. 

Our day started with Patton sticking his extra large snout in Candi’s face the moment he heard the alarm go off.  Unfortunately for him, instead of going through our normal morning routine, she took a quick shower while the coffee was brewing and got dressed.  After grabbing her “to go” cup she got the leashes and we headed out.  We stopped to do our morning business and then got in the car immediately.  This is not normal, but Patton was excited about going for a ride in the car so he hopped right in.

It was at the clinic that it got comical.  The sign outside the door asked people to leave pets in their vehicles until they were checked in.  Candi had barely gotten out of the car before Patton was out.  She put him back in the car and almost slammed his head in the door as he tried to get right back out to go with her.  After a few minutes she returned to get Patton.  She thought that he might go in without too much fuss, but that wasn’t to be.  So…she came back to the car for me in hopes that Patton would follow me as he usually does.  That worked until we were about ten feet from the door.  Patton sat down and refused to budge.  Finally, Candi just picked him up and carried him in through the front door.

Once inside he tried his level best to check everything out.  But because of other animals being in the waiting room, Candi had a firm grip on both of our leashes and we weren’t going anywhere.  The German shepherd in the waiting room had no problem coming over to check us out though.  When the vet’s assistant approached, Candi explained which one of us was here for the procedure and the lady slipped the lead around Patton’s neck.  OK…that was really funny to me because he promptly sat down and began to wiggle backwards to get away from her and the lead.  Eventually, the vet’s assistant had to reach under the chair Candi was sitting in to pick Patton up.  He wiggled the whole time and the poor lady had her hands full trying to get a better hold on him.

As she carried Patton back, I began to moan and howl which made Patton moan and howl.  Candi’s eyes filled with tears as she led me back out the way we had come in. Tomorrow we will go pick the little guy up from the clinic and it should be as much of an adventure tomorrow as it was today.  I’m waiting to see how quickly he jumps in and out of the car from now on.  Now…because I do love the little guy, I’d ask each of you to keep him in your thoughts today.  We want everything to go well with no complications and a quick recovery.