Why PETA Is Not Good For Me

So Candi, Patton and I are sitting at home on a cold rainy night watching movies and surfing the net.  We're having a good time and all of sudden I hear, "Good grief!  What next?" coming from Candi.  Immediately I perked up because I knew we were about to discuss something so absolutely insane...it's funny.  Sure enough...PETA has provided the entertainment for tonight. 

I listened patiently as Candi read an article to Patton and I about PETA filing a lawsuit against SeaWorld for enslaving killer whales.  Now, I saw the ridiculousness of this immediately but Patton thought it was good.  He's just a puppy so we have to overlook some things.  I took it upon myself to explain.

"Patton, think about it this way.  If you and I were to be taken away from Candi because she 'makes' us write blogs, we'd have to go out into the world to fend for ourselves.  No longer would our every need be provided for.  There would be no more cuddling with her or any other human in bed on cold winter nights.  No more water and food bowls filled twice a day, no more warm dry place to sleep and we'd probably end up with a fatal disease," I told him.  "Those killer whales and other sea life that Sea World takes care of have never been in the wild.  They've been dependent on humans their entire lives and probably won't last very long if PETA gets their way and the whales are released into the wild."

As Patton began to cry, Candi picked him up and set him in her lap.  "Don't worry, Patton.  I won't let that happen," she said.  "Shasta, that was mean to frighten Patton that way!"  I immediately hung my head in shame (and tried very hard not to let her see me grinning). 

Now, I know ya'll think I'm mean.  But...I also know ya'll know I'm right!  PETA would have all of us that are content with the humans in our lives released into the wild to fend for ourselves.  How is that "ethical treatment of animals"?  It isn't!  PETA doesn't work for me or those killer whales. 

Also, it's just silly.  Why do our courts need to be tied up with a lawsuit so ridiculous?  That is just more taxpayer money wasted.  Animals don't consider themselves slaves!  We consider ourselves part of the family.  I'm pretty sure that if those killer whales could talk, they'd tell us all that they're quite content to do a few tricks in exchange for having their every need met.  Think about it people!  As animals dependent on humans we never worry about where our next meal is coming from, our health or where we might have to find shelter for the night.  I say those killer whales have it pretty good, just like me!

PETA is not good for us animals.  If anything, they are just another tick on humanity trying to suck the lifeblood out of everyone.  I'm currently organizing a protest of animals against PETA and their ridiculous idea that we're human!