Wednesday, August 3, 2011

I'm A Terrorist Hobbit (LMFBO)

For the past few weeks, during the "debt-ceiling" debate, Tea Party activists and conservatives have consistently been called names for refusing to budge in their convictions.  This began to bother me.  I mean, really, how can they call ME a terrorist?  I'm one of the most friendly and lovable creatures on the planet.  I didn't understand this at all, so I decided to talk to my human about it.

"Why am I a hobbit, terrorist or "self-serving hypocrite" because I believe the government should live within its means," I asked.

With a look of understanding on her face, Candi simply said, "When a person has no valid argument to make for their side, they often resort to name-calling.  It's their way of making themselves feel better about who they are."

"Well, that's kinda stupid," I said.

I thought on it some more.  Then I decided that I am in no way a terrorist.  Sarah Palin got it right last night on Hannity when she said, "If we were truly terrorist, President Obama would be hanging out with us."  I also decided that I'm in no way a "self-serving hypocrite".  If I were, I wouldn't be busting my doggie butt to learn things that will enable me to visit with returning soldiers in the hospital.  The last thing I decided was, I like being a hobbit.  I've seen those movies with my human and I know that they never gave up, they never wavered in their belief of what is right, AND they won the battle.

After expressing this thought to my favorite human, we decided that since we like being hobbits so much we'd go find our Hobbit names.  I am Ruby Sandybanks of Frogmorton and Candi will now be known as Petunia Sandybanks of Frogmorton.

It still bothered me, though.  All the name calling and mud slinging just seems so...childish.  So Petunia gave me a hug, smiled and said, "Ruby, if they weren't calling you names, you wouldn't be doing it right!" (you'll notice we used our hobbit names) Immediately I felt better and to show my thanks I promptly licked her face, rolled over for her to scratch my belly and then went to get my favorite tennis ball for a game of fetch. 

Yes, I may be a terrorist hobbit, but at least I stand for something and don't fall for every bit of nonsense coming out of D.C.  So...keep calling me names and trying to bring us down.  Every time you do, we'll find a way to make lemonade out of the lemons you just threw at us!

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