Monday, April 30, 2012

Yes, We're Sick Of It

My human gets an email from the Obama re-election campaign almost daily and each one always includes a request for $3.  We generally laugh about these emails and then delete them.  However, today’s email has struck as particularly funny.  It was titled, Sick of it.  Gee…so are we!
The writer complained about Obama’s opponents claiming that he is a “celebrity president” that spends too much time on TV shows that they watch.  Well, I’m here to tell you that my human doesn’t watch those programs and most truly informed conservatives don’t bother with such mundane shows, either.  You see, we’ve been told we aren’t intellectual enough to “get it”…LMDBO.  We’re still trying to figure out how stupid jokes and pet tricks are too intellectual for the American public…but there you go.
She also complained about how “we” (his opponents) then claim that he’s working all the time to destroy freedom and being mean to millionaires and billionaires.  Hmmm…well, I don’t see anyone complaining about him working all the time.  I do see a lot of talk about how many vacations he has taken, how many rounds of golf that he has played and how he has done a lot of campaigning since getting into office.  Yes, I think he is destroying freedom.  I don’t think he’s being mean to millionaires and billionaires, though.  I think he is jealous of those that have been successful and wants to penalize them for their success if they don’t support his ideas which lead down the path to socialism.
And last, but certainly not least, she complained about how Obama’s opponents are complaining that liberals and the media are wasting too much time patting him on the back for getting rid of bin Laden.  Again, I feel the need to explain something to this woman who clearly doesn’t “get it”.   You want us all to pat him on the back and forget about the fact that our economy is still not where it should be, you don’t want us thinking about Obamacare and all the evils it brings, and you certainly don’t want us looking at our porous borders.  Lady, what part of we need to focus on the important issues do you not get?  I’m a dog and I get it!

Yes, to answer your question, we’re sick of it too!  We want a president who is not going to force socialism down our throats, one who doesn’t go play golf every 30 minutes while neglecting the country and one whose wife isn’t insisting that she knows what’s best for us in regards to our diets.  We want real solutions to real problems.  Yes…America is sick of it and come November, we’re going to vote out the sickness in the D.C. that is threatening the very health of America, the greatest country on Earth.
Oh, and just for the record madam…thanks for the daily laughs!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Busybodies Waste Taxpayer Money

I hear my human talk about waste in government every single day.  Now, I’ve had firsthand experience with waste of taxpayer funds.  But before I tell you the story, I’d like to thank the “busybody” human who allowed me to witness it firsthand.  Thank you, for sending out Animal Control to check on my welfare.  My human obviously mistreats me on a regular basis and I’m glad you were looking out for me!
For years I have gone with my human everywhere.  To work, on road trips, long walks and hikes, to the store…everywhere.  Never once have we had an issue with anyone thinking I was being mistreated.  That is, until today.  It seems that someone called Animal Control about me and Patton being “tethered” right outside my human’s office.  It seems that there is an “anti-tethering” ordinance in the county we reside in and that we did not have adequate shelter.  So…an officer came out to talk to our human about it.
Now I want to let you people in on something.  One, we enjoy going everywhere with our human and are happy to be right outside her office door.  Being with her at her job gives us the opportunity for attention from children and other humans that we would not be given if we were left behind in a house all day.  Two, the humans who come to our human’s place of business enjoy seeing us here.  They’re always interested in what breed of canine we are and how well behaved we are.  Three, our human often works alone and we are here to warn her of danger and protect her if necessary.  I’m just wondering if the “busybody” that called had taken any of that into account before calling to report her for “mistreatment of animals”.
Taxpayer money was spent to send an Animal Control officer out to talk with our human about “mistreating” us.  The officer admitted she could tell we were very well tended to and that there was no sign of “mistreatment” visible.  As a matter of fact, the only law/ordinance our human had violated was the “tethering ordinance”.  I am sure that if you had just called to talk with our human about your concerns and that the county had an ‘anti-tethering” ordinance, the taxpayers of the county could have avoided the expense.  I realize in the grand scheme of things that it wasn’t very much money, but in today’s economic times…any taxpayer money spent unnecessarily is a waste! 
This last part is just for the person who falsely accused my human of “mistreatment” and/or cruelty to animals.  Next time you want to report someone for supposed offenses, make sure you have all your facts together and that the officer is NOT a fan of my blog!  And just because I’m a “female dog”, I want to add…May you never get another gift that you truly enjoy!!!  

Friday, April 20, 2012

To Be Or Not To Be A Gender/Species

Anyday liberals are going to decide that I can no longer be a dog.  After reading the story about LEGOs creating a “girl friendly” line and a feminist group being upset about it, it’s the only conclusion I can come to.  First they’ll do away with all genders, then they’ll do away with species.  Am I the only one who finds this wrong?
My human and her friend are currently trying to keep their heads from “popping” over the story that feminists are ticked off over a “girl friendly” version of the popular LEGOs toys.  I really can’t blame them.  They are girly girls and a group of women have decided that being feminine or even liking something feminine is wrong.  Who gave those “female dogs” the right to tell my human and her friends that they shouldn’t enjoy being feminine and traditional feminine roles?  Grrrr!
I feel the need to explain something to this group of women who think that celebrating one’s gender is wrong.  There are definite advantages to being a female.  For example, men don’t wear stilettos and therefore are missing out on a most excellent weapon.  My human once used her “sinning shoes” to defend herself against two very large and vicious dogs.  Because she celebrated her femininity and had on her “sinning shoes”, she was able to slip them off and “bop the dogs in the head”.  In doing so, she stunned the dogs who then just sat on their haunches and stared at her.  Are you going to tell me that by refusing her the joy of being a woman you will gladly take away one of her excellent weapons for self preservation?  I won’t.
You women make me want to bite you hard on your “female dog” rear ends.  You want special consideration because you’re a female, but then turn around and demand that no one recognize your gender.  Talk about hypocritical!  Get over yourselves and smell the coffee down in Columbia.  You should be proud of your differences from men and stop demanding what you don’t really want!  

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The Roof Or The Plate?

Once again distraction has taken hold of us all and we are forgetting the real issues of the day.  As a canine, I feel I have a special perspective on this particular distraction.  Regardless of which camp you may be a part of, both sides have not been particularly kind to my species.  And with that being said, I think I prefer to stick with Romney over Obama when it comes to doggie issues.
First, let me say that I know Romney is definitely out of touch when it comes to what is in the best interests of canines in this country.  No one who truly cared about my species would put an obviously nervous tempered dog in a crate and tie it to the roof of their vehicle while traveling on vacation.  He further showed a lack of real concern when he stopped to “hose off the mess” and continue on without seeing to it that the dog was really ok.  This is NOT cool!  However, I feel that with a little training, Romney could be taught to be a proper human to his canine companions.
Now I don’t know what to say about Obama and his “dog eating” habits.  I do know that I am fortunate not to have been born in Asia where dog meat is considered a main staple in the diet.  I know that Obama was just a boy when living in Indonesia and that he ate things he probably wouldn’t consider eating now.  With that being said, if he was brave enough to write about eating dog as a boy in his book, I have to wonder if he wouldn’t eat dog meat again.  It is plausible to believe that if you were disgusted by it, you wouldn’t have written about it in a book. 
As a canine, I have a choice to make.  Would I rather support someone who would be inconsiderate enough to tie me to a roof…OR…do I want to support someone who would put me on a plate for dinner?  Hmmm….think I’ll support the guy with the roof! 

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Hollywood Has-Been/Political Wannabe....GO HOME!!!

Hollywood and Washington, D.C. have always been connected.  Stars and politicians enjoy the photo ops that rubbing elbows bring.  Generally, I don’t have a problem with it.  I do have a problem with it when stars use their platform to spout ridiculous and uneducated comments in an attempt to garner attention.  Our latest prime example of this would be the one and only Roseanne Barr. 
Ms. Barr is perhaps the saddest of all creatures on Earth, a “Hollywood has been”.  These “has been” celebrities often try to regain their former fame by inserting themselves into current events and/or politics.  Ms. Barr has even gone so far as to announce her candidacy for President of the United States.  Now in all fairness, her announcement to run for President doesn’t really bother me.  After all, she is a joke and no one in their right mind would take her seriously.  What does bother me is that Ms. Barr has now attacked Ann Romney.
I don’t know if Ann Romney raised her children herself or if they had nannies.  Personally, I don’t care.  What I do care about is the fact that Mrs. Romney is being attacked when no one really knows what they’re talking about.  Were Roseanne and Hilary Rosen there in the Romney household?  Were they around to help Ann through her illnesses?  Where are the witnesses to back up their claims? 
Seriously, this is not about moms or women.  This is about making the Romney’s look as completely out of touch with the rest of us as they possibly can.  They want us looking at that and ignoring the fact that the Obama’s hired a plane just to take the family dog to Hawaii for vacation.  They don’t want us looking at the Obama’s oldest child going to Mexico for Spring Break, or Michelle’s expensive wardrobe.  Liberals don’t want us looking too close at the out of control spending that has increased since Obama took office either. 
Honestly, I don’t care what the Romney’s personal finance situation was or is.  I don’t even care about what Obama’s personal finance situation was or is.  What I do care about it what our government finance situation was and is currently.  I care about what our military is doing overseas to protect us from more terrorist attacks.    I care about our porous borders and what D.C. is going to do to help states like Arizona and Texas defend themselves against the drug cartels that come and go across our Southern border as they please.  I care about charges being brought against Attorney General Eric Holder for perjuring himself before Congress. 
In short, I care about a great many other things that affect our economy, our national security and the overall health of our nation.  Stop this inane argument about who does what when and/or where.  Give me a plan for fixing the problems that our country is facing.  And please, for the love of God, Ms. Barr…SHUT UP!  No one cares what you have to say Roseanne.  You are irrelevant and you know it.  After the antics you pulled in the nineties with your husband Tom Arnold, you will never have anything of value to add.  Stop embarrassing yourself and your family.  It’s time to permanently fade away!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

An Open Letter To Hilary Rosen

Dear Ms. Rosen,

Let me explain something to you since you obviously have no idea what it means to be a REAL woman who stays at home to raise her children.  They don’t do it because they don’t have any understanding of the economy.  They do it because they can.  They understand the economy well enough to know that the paycheck their spouses bring home each week is enough to cover the needs of the family budget.   They know what it means to put WANTS aside and focus on NEEDS.  This is something I think you and others like you don’t understand.

My human has to work outside the home out of necessity.  She has no one else to see to the needs of the home and therefore, she goes to work every day in order to provide shelter, food and clothing for her household.  Her mother stayed at home the entire length of her childhood in order to raise six children.  She managed the household budget with one measly paycheck.  She could not have made that tiny paycheck stretch the way she did if she had no understanding of the economy.  Would you like to contradict that?

Just because Ann Romney has had the opportunity to stay at home does not mean she has no understanding of the economy.  You’re jealousy of her and how happy she seems to be is no reason to slam her for her choice.  You’re idiotic apology was futile and as fake as a three dollar bill.  There is no one who thinks your words were “poorly chosen”.  Even canines like myself know that you said exactly what you meant and you are only now apologizing because you have alienated a key demographic that will be needed to keep your boss in the White House this November.

I’d like to give you a small piece of advice from one “female dog” to another.  Stop before you make yourself look even more small and pathetic than you already look. 

Female dog extraordinaire