Monday, December 12, 2011

My Politically Incorrect Human At Christmas

My human cracks me up sometimes.  She is way past the age when you're considered an "adult", yet she refuses to stop believing in Santa Clause, she watches the same clay-mation movies and cartoons every year, and she continues to say the most inappropriate Merry Christmas!

I decided I would share with you some of her politcally incorrect traditions.

1.  She promotes bullying by letting Patton and I watch Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, insists that Frosty the Snowman did NOT melt due to global warming, and says The Little Drummer Boy was indeed an orphan with NO gift for the newborn Christ other than his music.  For the record, The Little Drummer Boy was not an orphan due to war.

2.  She refuses to replace Christ with "X" in Christmas and she won't say Happy Holidays.  She will, however, acknowledge the specific religious beliefs of others by wishing them a Happy Hannukah, Kwanza or Winter Solstice.  She doesn't think there is any need to lump all holidays in to one generic term.

3.  She proudly contributes to global warming by using non-energy efficient Christmas lights and decorations.  AND she uses up gas as she takes friends and family to see Christmas displays in and around Atlanta.

4.  She puts out milk and cookies on Christmas Eve for a man who is breaking and entering into her home.  Sings traditional Christmas carols and reads 'Twas the Night Before Christmas and the nativity out of the Bible.

5.  She refuses to watch "politically correct" Christmas re-makes of movies that were perfectly fine the first time!

All in all, my human is probably the most politically incorrect person during the holidays than any other person I know.  And you know what?  I'm glad!  She makes it fun and exciting for the rest of us.  She shares of herself and takes time to help those less fortunate when she can.  She has taught her daughter, myself and Patton that Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year.  So...if you don't want to be offended, don't come to our house.  I guarantee that if you mess up her "happiest time of the year" with your bad attitude, your backside will be introduced to the teeth belonging to Patton and I.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so politically incorrect that I even have a yearly tree called CHRISTMAS!