To Be Or Not To Be A Gender/Species

Anyday liberals are going to decide that I can no longer be a dog.  After reading the story about LEGOs creating a “girl friendly” line and a feminist group being upset about it, it’s the only conclusion I can come to.  First they’ll do away with all genders, then they’ll do away with species.  Am I the only one who finds this wrong?

My human and her friend are currently trying to keep their heads from “popping” over the story that feminists are ticked off over a “girl friendly” version of the popular LEGOs toys.  I really can’t blame them.  They are girly girls and a group of women have decided that being feminine or even liking something feminine is wrong.  Who gave those “female dogs” the right to tell my human and her friends that they shouldn’t enjoy being feminine and traditional feminine roles?  Grrrr!

I feel the need to explain something to this group of women who think that celebrating one’s gender is wrong.  There are definite advantages to being a female.  For example, men don’t wear stilettos and therefore are missing out on a most excellent weapon.  My human once used her “sinning shoes” to defend herself against two very large and vicious dogs.  Because she celebrated her femininity and had on her “sinning shoes”, she was able to slip them off and “bop the dogs in the head”.  In doing so, she stunned the dogs who then just sat on their haunches and stared at her.  Are you going to tell me that by refusing her the joy of being a woman you will gladly take away one of her excellent weapons for self preservation?  I won’t.

You women make me want to bite you hard on your “female dog” rear ends.  You want special consideration because you’re a female, but then turn around and demand that no one recognize your gender.  Talk about hypocritical!  Get over yourselves and smell the coffee down in Columbia.  You should be proud of your differences from men and stop demanding what you don’t really want!  

Rules Don't Apply To Dryer Lint

Every night my human takes Patton and I out for a walk.  She tries to be considerate of neighbors and their animals by taking us out when others would not normally be out.  The reason for that is because other humans have not or do not train their companions well enough.  As a result…I am often attacked by smaller canines.  Last night was a prime example.

On our way back inside from our walk we came across a neighbor who had her “dryer lint” (I swear it wasn’t a real dog) out.  “Dryer lint” was not on a leash.  We could not see them so, as we turned the corner “dryer lint” saw us and immediately rushed us and attacked me.  Now, I am a patient canine and play well with other canines.  However, I will not tolerate being attacked simply for existing.  I decided to defend myself.

The problem was NOT that I defended myself.  Candi could have handled that.  She has in the past.  No, the problem was that Patton decided I need help.  The human of the “dryer lint” was yelling at all of us but doing nothing to help my human keep us apart.  The end result, Candi ended up face first in soggy ground after twisting her leg/ankle in an attempt to keep control of me and Patton.  There we were tangled up together, slightly damp while the other human finally picks up her “dryer lint” and disappears into the night.

Now here is OUR problem with what happened.  Had Candi not had me and Patton on leashes, this same woman would have raised all kinds of a fuss about it.  Want to know how I know this?  Because she’s a liberal (she proudly displays an Obama sticker on her vehicle) and we all know that the rules only apply to conservatives and their companions.   Because of “dryer lint” not being on a leash, not having any manners whatsoever, AND its human failing to obey leash laws, Candi got hurt.  Maybe it’s just me, but I’m thinking that next time Candi should turn us loose and allow us to have “dryer lint” as a late night snack!!!!